Is this such a good idea? January 10, 2011

YouTube. This thought has been plaguing me the last year or so about whether to hop on the bandwagon again. There are so many reasons why this is both a good or bad idea. I’ll go with the bad first, as there are a lot of questions that need answering about why I stopped & why I am hesitant to try it again.

The last time I made a YouTube video was early last year with some friends who I had met on YouTube and it was just a mash-up on random clips but I never uploaded it. The last uploaded video was a make-up tutorial and a video of me and some friends. And then there was this big two week trip thing that happened and a lot of friendships were destroyed and the whole idea of posting online has intimidated me ever since.

YouTube didn’t make me a nice person & I think it’s because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I think learning to be a journalist, to be interested in news, current affairs, issues, other people, has really given me a grounding & outlet for expressing what I want without it being centered on me. I need “me time” away from all this to fulfill the self-center shit that I go through. This isn’t making much sense, it’s all rambly but if you get through all this, ka pai.

I want to get back into making videos because I want to keep my editing skills sharp, I want to vlog about issues and things that happen to me because i’m really enjoying blogging here & videos would be a huge visually-creative outlet for this desire. Even thinking about uploading a video is giving me butterflies & is making me nervous but it’s something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

Plus i’m working now & although it shouldn’t reflect on my job/priorities too much, it’ll be weird to be writing stories & then also doing personal vlogs & projects on my current channel. I get worried that things I say or do on this blog will reflect on myself and if a future employer googles my name, they’ll come straight here but I think that’s a risk i’ll just have to take.

So after the big friendship bust that was July 2009, I backed off from YouTube altogether & so did many of my other friends. There are a couple, such as Rache, Patrick & Corey, who all still make videos but very sporadically. It’s hard, having new lifestyles & priorities, trying to find the time to make a video is almost impossible. But it’s not something I want to fully dedicate myself to, I wouldn’t give myself a weekly deadline or anything ridiculous that I can’t stick to.

So anyway. I guess i’m trying to say/announce that in 2011 I want to try vlogging again. This isn’t a big deal, it’ll just be when I have the time and yes, old habits die hard. So they won’t be long because conciseness is everything to me & the limited time we have on this planet shouldn’t be wasted. I’m not going to kill myself trying to upload a mega-massive video when I can be out enjoying time with friends.

Anywho, i’ll post videos here when I upload them but if you want to see past endeavours of mine, head here: Jessums31.